Why does expectation seem to come by when I least expect her?
She comes knocking on my door for a visit, and always feels obligated to bring along her friend, disappointment.
I know my time with them isn’t well spent, but sometimes I choose to sit and complain with them anyway.
This is my heart issue, it’s not from my head. When I hear her knocking, knowing doesn’t do me much good.
It’s then I take center stage and pridefully proclaim that this should’ve been different!
I expect more and quickly get introduced to her cousin, Discontent.
I hear knocks reverberating off every room, and echoing down every hallway. Now, it’s getting into my heart and making a mess. These thoughts bring along more knocks to the door of my noisy mind.
And I choose to open up to anger.
If I don’t act fast, I could easily become consumed!
What if all my expectations, my hopes, and dreams, were laid at the feet of the one who made me? Only then, I can visualize them changing.
What is my expectation really, compared to God’s glory?
My ill, half hearted, meager attempts, that birth from my womanly ways.
It’s then I confess, I am nothing without Him.
That’s when the Holy Spirit nudges me gently saying, “remember your gratitude journal Amy”.
Just touching paper to pen makes me feel more alive again, not half dead.
I begin writing down as many things that I can, and then I see them coming in.
They suddenly appear all around me and they’re the ones I really want to see! As if coming out of thin air, but the truth is they were always standing there.
People with names. They were just pushed to the side carelessly by those acquaintances of mine.
They were here all along, waiting.
Joy isn’t pushy like Discontent.
She doesn’t force her way in… she prefers an invitation.
Now I see them again and I breathe a sigh of relief and release. Their names are Joy, Gratitude, Purpose and Peace. They are in the faces of every one around me!
It is a sweet release!
“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness”.
Glory be to God that we have the chance to see more of what life is really all about each day! I may sound redundant, but I will say it anyway.
Every day is still a new day!
Welcome it with open arms…
”In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait expectantly”.
Psalm 5:3 NIV
Can you relate to this “domino” effect of feelings?
Don’t be shy to share, I would love to hear from you!